Gaijin Girl

so i came to japan with a vague idea that somehow the experience of living in a country that is so completely different from my own might give me some perspective on how my students and their families who migrated to the United States from countries like Mexico might feel living in an environment so different from their previous ones.  of course i knew that i could never share the exact same experiences as a latino/a because i am a caucasian and thus have different perceptions and experiences than a latino/a immigrant might.  so here i am, and i have learned some things.

for starters shortly after i arrived in japan, i learned that my company had not paid their employees on time for the last month.  i also learned that several of my coworkers expected the place to shut down at any minute and that the recruiters had lied to us about many of the job conditions.  i wondered if any of my students’ families had ever experienced similar working conditions and felt sure that they had.  it is so easy to convince people of how great something is in another country when the people they are recruiting have never been there.  however, i also realized that many of my students’ family members probably had no work promised to them in the United States before they arrived.  many of them had to frantically search for work that they could perform to support their families.  i was lucky that i had had the privilege to find work before i came to japan and was able to receive assistance from my new company in reaching my new apartment from the airport.  i also lived in very nice accommodations, provided by my company, something i doubted a lot of my students’ families experienced upon reaching the United States.  i also realized that some of my students’ parents didn’t even have proper work visas for employment in the United States, so they couldn’t just look for another job if they weren’t satisfied with their current one.  i, however, had obtained a visa in a matter of three business days and used this privileged position to post my resume on a web site that helps foreigners find work in japan.  within two weeks of posting my resume, i had another job and was preparing to relocate to another part of japan in order to accept my new position.  i was able to travel for the interview and afford the moving costs because my family from the United States sent money to help me.  most of the latino/a immigrants i knew in the United States usually sent money to their families rather than counting on their families back in Central America to send them money to bail them out of difficult situations in the foreign country they now called their home.

despite the privileged position i was in because of the financial contributions of my family and my work visa status, i felt very alone and confused during this time.  i had no money and had to rely on others to help me–a lot.  i had no idea what to expect from the housing and environment in the new city where i would be living.  i couldn’t read and could barely communicate with most of the people around me.  however, i found it quite strange that many of the people who tried to help me apologized for not being able to speak english.  what?  we were in japan.  why should they be the ones to learn the language of the foreigner?  i tried to imagine people who worked in the service industry back home apologizing to customers for not being able to speak spanish or some other foreign language and almost laughed.  no way.  the pressure would definitely be on the foreigner to learn english, the official language of the united states.  why, here in japan, were people trying to accommodate my needs as a foreigner, even going so far as to apologize to me for the fact that weren’t able to speak foreign languages to people in their own country?  maybe it was just true that japanese people are really polite and that americans are really rude.  but somehow i didn’t think that that stereotype really encompassed all that was going on here.

once things settled down on the financial and professional ends, and i had adjusted to my new life of teaching preschoolers and living in a tiny room near tokyo with my boyfriend, i was able to better observe and experience daily life and interactions in japan.  over time i began to notice some things.  the thing i hate most is being stared at everywhere i go.  japan is a small island; there area actually not that many people who look different from one another.  the united states is a huge country, full of many cultures and races.  i almost began to admire my home country for the fact that its people are so diverse and that we almost never stare at other people just because we are shocked to see a different skin color.  now we may stare at them for other reasons, but i am concentrating on the positive aspects of my country right now.

in the myriad of experiences i have had as a foreigner living in japan, i have felt both admired and hated by different japanese people–just as you might feel anywhere, i suppose.  however, the feelings are much more intense when you are the only “different” one, i have found out.  although i am a minority here, however, i have noticed a difference in the way different minorities are treated in japan.  i am often approached on trains or elsewhere in public only to be asked how old i am, where i am from, what sports i like, and if i have a boyfriend.  sometimes these questions come from people wanting to practice english, sometimes from people who are just excited to see a foreigner and are perhaps interested in traveling abroad themselves, and sometimes from creepy old men who think white women are hot.  however, some of the friends i have made here from other asian countries often report people eyeing them suspiciously or moving away from them on trains or even being asked why their skin color is so dark.  i have also heard japanese acquaintances make negative stereotypical comments about chinese or filipino people.  now they also make lots of negative comments about american people, but i have noticed that the negative things i’ve heard about white-looking immigrants have been mostly about their straightforward communication styles, inappropriate senses of humor, arrogance, and ignorance, while the negative comments i’ve heard about asian or african immigrants often focus on physical appearances or speculations that the women may be mail-order brides or involved in some other shady businesses in japan.

in fact i have noticed a disproportionate amount of filipinas working in the sex industry in japan, and the men who stand outside the businesses where many sexual encounters take place are often african.  there is a  stereotype about a certain area in tokyo where black men hussle passersby to enter their clubs and partake in sexual relations with women that seems to me almost similar to associations with certain streets in mississippi and black men selling drugs.  these are places that self-proclaimed self-respecting people–in the case of tokyo, mostly japanese people and in the case of mississippi, mostly white people–simply don’t want to go.  i guess i have experienced firsthand how true it is that racism is a worldwide epidemic, that one group of people suppressed by white people in north america has become comfortable doing the same to people of other races in their own country.  if everyone feels that their race and culture is superior to those of foreigners, how are we ever going to work together for the greater good of all world citizens?  in the same vein, i find it very frustrating when i am invited to spend time with japanese people who seem to only be interested in me because i am in fact american.  they have so many questions, which seems natural and friendly enough.  however, once they get into comparing the two countries, sometimes they end up conceding that america must be so much better than japan because of our tv shows, music, youth culture, etc., i realize how sad but true it is that many youth look up to the predominant “white-upper middle class” culture that is projected in the american media–worldwide.  why is that?  shouldn’t their sense of national pride that makes them skeptical and judgmental of so many foreigners also spill over into the genres of fashion, music, entertainment, beauty, etc.?  why is lotion that “whitens” the skin so popular here?  who decided that white was beautiful or desirable?  the world is so full of contradictions and ironies that i am just beginning to understand that i may never understand.

living in japan as an american has only strengthened the complexities of immigration and intercultural communication issues that have fascinated me over the past few years.  i feel that i will return to the united states with more questions than answers, which isn’t what i expected before i came here but might just turn out to be more influential in helping me connect with my students who are facing cultural contradictions and complexities every day.  like many white americans, i was never forced to formulate such questions or reflect on such issues as a child, as i have typically been a demographic of the “mainstream” culture and surrounded by a group of others like myself.  everyone else has always been the “other,” not me.  while i can never put myself in the shoes of a person of color, i am happy that i have had the chance to experience being a racial minority in another country, even though i haven’t necessarily come up with any solutions or profound answers because of this experience.  i feel lucky to have met so many people in my 27 years, from all over the world and from so many different backgrounds and cultures, from whom i have learned so much.  i look forward to connecting with many more different kinds of people over the years and feel grateful that i have recognized the importance of discussing culture and race rather than simply being confined to the role i was assigned at birth as the “mainstream” and making uninformed assumptions about the “others” because of what i was told by those who look like me.  thinking about the real issues of culture and race have changed the way i think and feel about everything, although the main thing i have learned is that i have so much more to learn.  hopefully i will learn more about all this each day.

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today i am going to see radiohead in concert….yay!    i actually have a viral trachial infection, but i’m not letting that stop me from experiencing the loveliness of radiohead of course.  i also could possibly have temporomandibular dysfunction (TMD or TMJ), i found out yesterday.  stupid stress.  so i have had a really relaxing weekend….doing reiki and yoga and got an aromatherapy massage.  it has been lovely.  and this evening, to top it all off–radiohead!  now if only i didn’t have to work tomorrow….or ever again.  hmm, still working on that.

so since this blog is still living in the past, let me tell you about my birthday (may 20, in case you didn’t know)!  the weekend before my birthday, josh took me to this really cool place called nikko via shinkansen:

after many trains, busses, and walking,

we arrived at our campsite.

here was the view from outside our tent:

i was feeling kinda sick but gambatted through a trip to to toshugo shrine after we set up camp.

after we saw the horseback archery competition (which was AMAZING),

we took a bus and an ELEVATOR to the bottom of a waterfall!  it was totally weird.  of course it was beautiful, but i am not sure of the contribution of the elevator to the beauty of the whole thing.

after this adventure, we got a bite to eat and then walked over to a nearby hotel to enjoy a private onsen that josh had booked for us.  it has its own bathroom, in which the toilet lid raised and lowered itself automatically, a changing room with after-bath supplies and a full pitcher of ice water, and a bay window looking out onto the lakes and mountains nearby.  here was my reaction to all this:

after the onsen we took a bus back to the train station, only to find that we had missed our last bus back to the campsite.  we successfully hailed a cab, but the driver couldn’t believe we wanted to be taken to that campsite because the office was closed by this time.  we tried to communicate that we had already been there to check in and were now merely going to sleep in our tent, but he kept asking us if we were sure we wanted to go there during the drive.  even when we pulled up, he asked us if it was really ok to leave us there.  after many convincing remarks from us, he finally reluctantly drove away, and we began the hike to our campsite where josh cooked dinner and i fell asleep before it was ready!  it rained a little that night, but the next day was just a little cloudy and pleasant.  we returned to toshugo shrine for the thousand warriors’ march, which took most of the day.

we found lots of beautiful photo ops along the way to and from the parade:

and then stopped to sample some local beer, strawberries, and cheesecakes and chat in broken japanese/english with some nikko residents before heading home.

this trip was one of my best birthday celebrations ever!  the day of my actual birthday was just another day of work, but afterward josh and i celebrated with yummy cake.  then the next weekend my boss took us all out to dinner.  her birthday and another of my co-workers’ birthdays were in may too, so we all celebrated at a nice restaurant.

then the next night we hung out with some of our friends whom we met on the niijima island camping trip for another birthday celebration.  josh was actually working in the city where they live that day (about 2 hours from our house), so our friends amber & aaron picked me up at the train station, then we picked josh up from work, and then went out to dinner at a really nice indian restaurant, where i received the most unexpected gift ever–a pillow in the shape of poop from my dear friend shane.

after dinner a bunch of us went back to amber and aaron’s for drinking and good friendly gaijin conversation.  i absolutely adore that group of people!  we all ended up staying the night at their apartment and the next day went to a hot springs near their place.  to reach the hot springs, we had walk up a paved road to the top of a mountain.  luckily, the road was lined with great photo ops

and refreshments along the way.

this last photo pretty much sums it up.  it was a totally amazing birthday! 

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